A bit about me
I am a 46-year old married man with two daughters, living in southern England. I have been a mental health professional for more than twenty years. My interest in issues of sex and gender stems from my early life experiences. I was a sensitive child, more interested in books than sports. As a teenager I struggled to accept myself as a man. I felt alienated from the models of masculinity I saw around me, and often felt that my life would have been easier if I had been born a girl. Becoming a father at 28 was the beginning of my journey towards discovering a positive sense of myself as a man.
Since 2010 I have been involved in a type of psychotherapeutic group work known as 'men's work'. Much of this work uses a model which derives from the mythopoetic men's movement associated with Robert Bly and James Hillman, which in turn stems from Jungian psychology. The model proposes that there are archetypal masculine qualities which are partially based in biology, which both women and men can access and embody, and which men in particular need to reckon with if we are to avoid enacting these archetypal qualities unthinkingly. For instance, we need to know where we stand in relation to the warrior archetype, in order to be able to manage our inherent propensity to aggression. Myths, legends and stories help us do this work. It is important to note that archetypes are different from stereotypes, which are predominantly cultural and subject to rapid change.
In men's work we are particularly interested in men's tendencies towards disengagement and disconnection. Recently I have been deeply troubled by the absence of men from the conversation about gender ideology. As a group, we seem to be enacting an age old pattern of abandoning our sons and daughters, leaving women to do the emotional and relational heavy lifting (and to become over-extended as a result). I am particularly concerned about the situation of male detransitioners, whose stories often contradict dominant feminist accounts of why men choose to transition. I would argue that those of us who have spent years reflecting on issues of masculine identity are particularly well placed to offer these young men support, and that we have a responsibility to do so.
I hope you will write more about this:
"I am particularly concerned about the situation of male detransitioners, whose stories often contradict dominant feminist accounts of why men choose to transition. I would argue that those of us who have spent years reflecting on issues of masculine identity are particularly well placed to offer these young men support, and that we have a responsibility to do so."
The NHS also has a responsibility to do so, having been responsible for causing harm. As a mental health professional, do you feel that the NHS is equipped to provide the sort of support to male detransitioners that you are thinking of?
I am wondering too if you have consulted and had any feedback from detransitioners about the sort of support that you think would help?
Somewhere I came across a statement from a clinical psychologist that the popularity of CBT had plummeted as the valourization of victimhood took off.
Detransitioners seem to be characterised by a refusal to see themselves as victims and instead seem sometimes to take on too much responsibility for what they have been through. I wonder how much "detransition" is due to a rejection of victimhood and its trappings?
Ritchie Herron prefers to call detransition "recovery", in part to emphasise lack of belief that "transition" is possible. This rejection of a mindset and status seems significant paired with the positive notion of "recovery". We cannot turn back time but we can "re-cover" and move on to a better place.
Ritchie's explanations about "detransition" being a mental and social rather than necessarily physical and cosmetic transformation brought home the incredible challenges detransitioners face in addition to dealing with the physical harm to their bodies.